I’m pissed. I’m sick of being sick. I’m sick of testing. I’m REALLY fucking sick of IVs. The bruises on BOTH my arms from my endoscopy a week ago are still clearly evident. Yet Thursday I have to go get a gastric emptying xray done and then Tuesday I have to have ANOTHER endoscopy done with full sedation.
My stomach apparently isn’t emptying right so they’re doing further testing. I … Don’t even have words. I have more than enough wrong with me. I got a new PCP and she was shocked at all I’ve been dealing with the last two years. And she flat out told me with all my medical issues and all I’ve had happen in my life recently she’d expect my heart rate to be high. She’s planning on doing a test where I wear what’s basically a portable EKG machine around for a week just to make sure I don’t have heart problems - as if I need that too. But we’re waiting until all my stomach stuff is figured out though, because she said the stress of that would make the results incorrect.
They say you’re only given what you can handle in life. I’ve always believed that. But how is it possible for me to handle all of this? I’m crumbling under the pressure.